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What should I teach my high school-aged teen about sex and sexuality? (Age 14- 19years)

It’s normal for teens to have many questions and lots of thoughts and feelings about sex and sexuality, and parents have an important role to play. Here are some tips for talking with your teen about sex.

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What should I keep in mind?

Parents really make a difference. Teens who have frequent conversations with their parents about a variety of topics related to sex are more likely to delay sex until they are older, and use condoms and other forms of birth control when they do become sexually active. Most teens name their parents as the biggest influence in their decisions about sex.

Many schools teach sex education that includes information on abstinence, safer sex, birth control, and relationships— which is great. But nothing compares to the influence you have as a parent on a day-to-day basis. That’s why talking about sex and sexuality at home is important even if your teen is getting the right facts at school.

It’s important for you to share your personal values and beliefs about sex. If you spend some time thinking about your personal values and what you’d want for your teen, it will be easier to send a clear message when you do talk about sex with your teen. Consider

  • When do you think it would be acceptable for them to have sex?
  • Do you want them to be in a committed relationship or married first?
  • Do you want them to be out of high school?

If you are clear about your hopes for your teen, they’ll be more likely to adopt those hopes and feelings too. No matter what your expectations, it’s also important to talk about ways people can protect themselves during sex by using birth control and condoms. This will arm your teen with important information and let them know that they can talk with you about this stuff.

It’s not just about talking. Having a good relationship with your teen and setting boundaries is important, too. Talking about your values, expectations, birth control and condoms is important. But so is having a close relationship with your teen that’s based on respect for each other.

Research shows that teens are less likely to take risks — like having unprotected sex, doing drugs, drinking, or smoking — when they feel they have a close relationship with a parent. Staying involved in their life, listening to them, and sharing your life and interests with them can help you build a closer relationship with your teen.

Setting boundaries for your teen can also help them avoid risky situations. Here are some things you can do:

  • Limit the amount of time your teen is allowed to spend with other teens without an adult around.
  • Discourage your teen from having friends who are much older than them.
  • Get to know your teen’s friends and (if possible) their parents.
  • Ask your teen about where they’re going and where they’ve been.
  • Give your teen a curfew.

How do I help my teen wait to have sex until they’re ready?

In addition to talking with them about your hopes for them around sex, it helps to understand why teens may be motivated to have sex. Here are 7 common reasons teens choose to have sex and some suggestions for how you can respond to them:

1. “I’ll feel more grown up.”
As they physically mature and have more and more independence, some teens feel they’re ready for sex and that having it will make them even more mature and independent.

Possible ways to respond:

  • “I can understand you wanting to feel more grown up. What are some others ways that you can feel grown up without having sex?”
  • “If you have sex and something unexpected happens, like getting pregnant or getting an STD, how would you handle that? How would that affect your future?”
  • “Being grown up means dealing with the responsibilities that go along with sex. Can you tell me what you think those responsibilities are?”

2. “I know I would enjoy sex.”
For many teens, life is about the “right here” and “right now.” Teens may have a hard time weighing the short-term benefits — physical pleasure or emotional satisfaction — against the possible, and more serious, consequences — STDs and/or unintended pregnancy. And before being able to really enjoy sex, your teen and their partner need to have consent.

Possible ways to respond:

  • “Sex might seem like a good idea right now, but it can have some serious consequences. Have you thought about pregnancy or STDs?”
  • “I know you think it’ll feel good to have sex. But there are a lot of ways to feel good and be close to someone without having sex.”
  • “Sex needs to be about your enjoyment as well as your partner’s enjoyment. You have to know for sure that they want to do what you want to do. Are you ready to talk about that with your partner?”

3. “It’s okay if I have sex because everybody’s doing it.”
Teens often think that more of their peers are sexually active than actually are. Give your teen the facts.

Possible ways to respond:

  • “No they’re not. On average, teens start having vaginal sex at 18.”
  • “Many teens who’ve had sex say they wish they’d waited.”

4. “I believe in having sex if I truly love the other person.” / “I want to feel closer to my partner.” / “Having sex is the best way to show my partner I love them.”
Many teens believe that they’ll lose their partner if they don’t have sex. Others believe that they need to have sex to show their partners that they love them. And teens may not think about other ways of showing their feelings besides having sex.

They also need to know that pressuring your partner to have sex is never okay, and can be a sign of an unhealthy or abusive relationship.

Possible ways to respond:

  • “In a truly loving relationship, your partner respects you and doesn’t pressure you to have sex. Is your [boyfriend/girlfriend/partner] pressuring you?”
  • “Sex can be a special way of sharing love with someone. But you should be loved whether or not you have sex. Let’s think of other ways you can share love without having sex.”

5. “I know people who had sex at a young age, so why can’t I?” / “You had sex at a young age — I can handle the consequences just like you did.”
People don’t always tell the whole story when it comes to how they deal with the responsibilities and consequences of sex. And because their brains aren’t fully developed, teens can’t realistically think through all the risks that having sex poses. You can help your teen with this — you might choose to tell your own story as one way to do that.

Possible ways to respond:

  • “It’s true. I had sex when I was your age, so it’s probably confusing for me to suggest you wait. But I really wish I’d waited longer. I wasn’t ready and I had to go through a lot because of it.”
  • “When I was in high school I thought that I would stay with my partner forever.  But I’m glad I waited to have sex, that I used birth control and condoms. I got to go to school, get a job, and have money of my own before I had a child.”

6. “If I have sex, I’ll finally know what it’s like.”
For many teens, curiosity plays a big role in choosing to have sex.

Possible way to respond:

  • “I can understand why you might be curious, but that’s not a good reason to have sex. Sex is a really important decision.”

7. “Other people will like me more if I have sex.”
Many teens believe that they’ll be more popular with their peers and more attractive to their crushes if they have sex. You can help them understand that sex should be about how you feel, and not about what people think of you.

Possible ways to respond:

  • “It may seem like sex is a good way to become popular, but that’s not a good reason to do it. You should only have sex because you want to and because the time is right for you.”
  • “How do you think your friends feel about you having sex? Do you think that’s what a true friend would think? Do you feel pressured?”

You can support them in waiting even more by helping them think through how they’ll say no to sex in the moment. Ask them what they think someone might say to convince them they should have sex. They can practice what they’ll say back. They might come up with things like:

  • “It’s just not for me.”
  • “We are too young for that responsibility.”
  • “My plans for the future are more important than having sex right now.”
  • “I don’t feel like it.”
  • “Why are you trying so hard when I told you, ‘no’?”
  • “My mom would be really upset.”
  • “I might get sick or pregnant.”
  • “It’s against my religion.”
  • “NO.”

How do I talk to my teen about STDs and safer sex?

STDs are super common, and most people will get one at some point in their lives. Young people in the US ages 15-24 have the highest risk of getting an STD — they make up a small part of the sexually active population, but get half of all new STDs each year.

You don’t need to be an expert in sexual health to help your teen avoid STDs. Encourage your teen to learn about safer sex. You can even read about it together. Let them know that if they’re going to have sex, you expect them to use protection, like a condom, every single time. If they might have vaginal sex, it’s also important to talk about birth control. Remind your teen that no matter what, you love them, and they can always come to you if they’re worried about STDs or anything else.

Here are some really important things your teen needs to understand when it comes to safer sex:

  1. Every time you have vaginal, anal, or oral sex without a condom or dental dam, you’re putting yourself at risk for STDs. Teens don’t always think oral sex counts as “sex,” and they don’t know that they can catch an STD that way.
  2. STDs don’t always have symptoms. Most people actually don’t have any symptoms when they have an STD, so they don’t even know they have one. But they can still spread them to other people and cause problems.
  3. Getting tested for STDs is really easy. While it’s great if your teen comes to you for help getting tested, they should know that they don’t need parental permission to get tested for STDs. They can always go to a local health center like Planned Parenthood to get tested if they’re worried about something, if the condom breaks, or if they didn’t use a condom.

How do I talk to my teen about masturbation?

It’s totally normal for teens to masturbate. Masturbation is safe, pleasurable, can reduce stress or period-related cramps and has no bad side effects. It’s also the safest sex there is.  There’s no need to be alarmed if you find out your teen is masturbating. Masturbating can satisfy sexual feeling and help teens get to know their own bodies.

Teens hear lots of myths about masturbation — that only guys do it, or that everybody does it so if they don’t do it that means they’re “weird.” The truth is that people of all genders masturbate, but not everybody does it. It’s normal if you do it, and it’s normal and OK if you don’t.  Letting your teens know these facts can help them to deal with the myths they may hear.

During adolescence, teens tend to desire more privacy and feel more self-conscious about their bodies. Whether they masturbate or not, your teen is probably going to want more privacy than they did when they were younger. So let them keep their bedroom door closed if they want and knock before you go into their room.

But what if you forget to knock and walk in on your teen masturbating? Find a quiet time later on to let them know that what they were doing is normal. And tell them you’ll try harder to respect their privacy. You’ll both probably be embarrassed about it, but that’s ok.

How do I talk to my teen about pornography?

Pornography or sexually explicit pictures and videos are easy to find. In fact, many children and teens first see porn accidentally when they are looking for something else online. It’s very likely your teen has seen some porn on the internet — and some teens are watching it regularly.

Most young people who look at pornography do so out of curiosity about other people’s bodies and about sex. But porn can lead to unrealistic expectations. So let your teen know that porn sex isn’t like real sex.

For example, the models’ and actors’ bodies usually don’t look like the average person’s body. Their bodies are cosmetically, and often surgically or hormonally, enhanced. The kinds of sex that people have in pornography generally doesn’t reflect what people do and like to do when they have sex in real life and the amount of time it takes for people to get excited and that they stay excited in porn is usually completely unrealistic.

Another example of negative messages in pornography is the lack of communication between actors — verbal or nonverbal — before, during, and after sex. They usually don’t ask for consent, which is always a must in real-life sex. And the actors in pornography don’t usually appear to use birth control or condoms.

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What should I teach my middle schooler about sex and sexuality? (9-13 years)

Thinking about sex is a natural part of puberty. Talking with your kids helps them navigate these new feelings in a healthy way, and lets them know that they can come to you with questions.

 

 

What should I keep in mind?

It’s important for you to share your personal values and beliefs about sex. As kids go through puberty, it’s normal for them to start having more sexual feelings and thoughts. By acknowledging this and talking to them about these feelings, you’re helping them feel more comfortable and able to make good decisions about waiting to have sex until they’re ready.

Talking with your kids really can make a difference in the choices they make as they get older. If you spend some time thinking about your personal values and what you’d want for your preteen when they’re older, it will be easier to send a clear message. If you’re clear about your hopes for your preteen, they’ll be more likely to adopt those hopes and feelings too.

It’s best to have many small conversations that come up naturally, instead of one big talk. You don’t have to carefully plan to say everything important all at once. Actually, it’s better if talking about sexuality is a lifelong conversation. Doing a little bit at a time helps keep your preteen from feeling overwhelmed or getting bored.

Everyday life has lots of natural opportunities for talking about sexuality — these are often called “teachable moments.” You can use movies, TV, advertisements, and social media as jumping off points to have conversations about sex, sexuality, body image, healthy relationships, and more. You can also talk about experiences you had when you were their age (like a crush or first kiss), to start conversations and learn about what’s going on with them.

It’s normal for these conversations to feel a little awkward at first, but your kids are listening, and they want to know what you value and expect from them. And the more you talk now, the easier it will be to discuss the more complicated stuff as your preteen gets older.

It’s not just about talking. Having a good relationship with your preteen and setting boundaries is important, too. Talking about your values and expectations is important. But so is having a close relationship with your preteen that’s based on respect for each other.

Research shows that young people are less likely to take risks when they feel they have a close relationship with a parent. Staying involved in their life, listening to them, and sharing your life and interests with them can help you build a closer relationship with your preteen.

Setting boundaries for your preteen can also help them avoid risky situations. Here are some things you can do:

  • Make sure your preteen isn’t spending a lot of time with other preteens without adult supervision.
  • Discourage your preteen from having friends who are much older than them.
  • Get to know your preteen’s friends and (if possible) their parents.
  • Ask your teen about where they’re going and where they’ve been.

How do I talk about sex with my preteen?

Before you talk, think about your values and what you want for your kids: when do you believe it’s okay for them to do sexual things, like kissing and touching? How much further into the future will you think it’s ok for them to think about having sex? What milestones will you want them to reach before having sex (be in a loving relationship, be prepared with birth control and condoms, be in a certain grade or out of school, etc.)? Knowing exactly where you stand helps you send clear messages during these conversations.

One of the ways you can encourage preteens to put off sex until they’re ready is by talking with them about their future goals and dreams, and what steps they plan on taking to achieve them. Then discuss how dealing with an unplanned pregnancy or STD might make those goals and dreams harder to achieve.

The average age that teens have sex for the first time is 18. So while your preteen probably isn’t going to start having sex for many years, it’s important to talk with pre-teens about how to prevent pregnancy and STDs so they can make responsible choices when they do become sexually active in the future. Around this age, you can start giving them honest, more detailed information about STDs and safer sex, pregnancy and birth control, masturbation, and most other aspects of sexuality — and they should know of at least 1 adult that they trust who they can come to with questions. Talking about this stuff will also help them see why they’re not ready to think about having sex just yet.

How do I talk about masturbation with my preteen?

Masturbation is very normal and common among preteens. Most young children learn early on that touching their genitals feels good. As people go through puberty, masturbation becomes more intentional and attached to sexual feelings. This is all normal.

Thinking that masturbation is wrong or dirty can cause guilt, shame, and fear that can be emotionally unhealthy for people of all ages. So it’s important for your kids to know that masturbating is normal and harmless — as long as they do it in private. And you can let them know that it’s also perfectly fine to not masturbate if they don’t want to. It’s a personal choice, and either is normal.

This is a good age to start knocking before you go in your preteen’s room. If you do walk in on them masturbating, try to stay calm — you don’t want them to think they’ve done anything wrong. You can say “Sorry, I should have knocked,” and tell them later that you’ll be more careful about privacy in the future.

How do I talk about pornography with my preteen?

We all know that porn isn’t appropriate for preteens. It can be confusing or even upsetting to their still developing minds. Some pornography is violent and degrading, and can promote unhealthy ideas about sex, relationships, and gender. For all these reasons and more, it’s a good idea to use parental controls on TV, computers, tablets and phones. As much as possible, be aware of what your kid is seeing online and what sites they visit, and consider keeping your computer in a family area. These things can lower the chances that your preteen will come across porn where it’s easiest to find — online.

But the reality is a lot of young people do see pornographic images or videos. Often it’s an accident (like if they’re Googling something harmless and stumble on adult sites or ads). Other times, older preteens might seek out porn because they hear about it from their friends or they’re curious about sex.

If you find out your preteen has seen porn, try not to freak out or get mad. Ask them how they came across it — was it an accident? On purpose? Did someone send it to them? Ask them what they think about what they saw, and be clear about your expectations and values here.

If your kid has questions about porn, you can answer in simple terms. You can talk about how porn is for adults only and isn’t meant for kids. As they get older, you can talk about how sex in porn doesn’t usually reflect real life — the people onscreen are acting, and it’s not generally an accurate depiction of how sex really happens. For example, porn shows lots of sexual activity, but none of the consequences of sex (like STDs and pregnancy) that people have to deal with in real life. They also often leave out consent, which is an essential part of real life sex. And most people’s bodies don’t look like the bodies you see in porn.

How do I talk about STDs and protection with my preteen?

Even though the vast majority of preteens aren’t sexually active, they’re old enough to learn how to protect themselves in the future. Teaching them about STDs and safer sex sets the expectation that they’ll make responsible choices when the time comes. It also shows that you care about them, and that they can come to you with any questions.

You can help your preteen stay healthy and even save their lives by giving them the real, honest facts about STDs and how to protect themselves. They should know that:

  • When people have vaginal, anal, or oral sex without a condom or dental dam, they’re at risk for STDs. Preteens don’t always think oral sex counts as “sex,” and they don’t know that they can catch an STD that way.
  • STDs don’t always have symptoms. Most people don’t notice any symptoms when they have an STD, so they don’t even know they have it. But they can still cause health problems, and can still be passed to other people.
  • Getting tested for STDs is a normal part of being sexually active. You can let them know that someday when they are sexually active, they should talk to their doctor or nurse about STD testing, on top of using condoms/dental dams.

Another step you can take to help your child avoid a very common (and possibly dangerous) STD later in life is to make sure they get the HPV vaccine — both girls and boys should get it at age 11-12. It’s safe and can help prevent cervical and other kinds of cancer in the future.

 

How do I talk with my elementary school aged child (5-8 years old) about sex and sexuality?

Talking with kids about sexuality helps keep them healthy and makes your relationship stronger. There are many ways to start conversations about sex and sexuality, and it gets easier with time and practice.

Kids between the age of 5 to 8 need accurate and age-appropriate answers to their questions. The conversations you have now play a major role in helping your children develop healthy relationships as they grow. And showing your kids that you’re a trustworthy and nonjudgmental resource makes it easier to talk about more difficult topics when they’re older. It’s easier than it seems — just keep it simple and direct, look for teachable moments, and stick to having lots of small, casual conversations.

teacching elementary children about sexuality

What should I keep in mind?

Kids have lots of questions. They need answers, but they don’t always need all the details. It’s important to be honest, accurate, and frank when answering your kids’ questions about sex, but that doesn’t mean you need to overwhelm them with lots of information. With younger kids, less is better — start with the simplest explanation, and only give them more details if they have other questions or seem really interested in what you’re talking about.

One way to guide the conversation is to find out what your child already knows or thinks, and what they’re really trying to find out. What seems like a straightforward question to adults could be different than what your kid actually wants to know.

For example, a child who asks, “Why do I have a penis?” might be wondering about why touching it feels good, or why their body looks different from their sister’s, or what part the penis plays in reproduction. To figure out what they’re really asking, you can say, “That’s a great question, what made you think of that?” or “Can you tell me what you already know about that?” or “What do you think the answer is?”

Talking with your kids about sexuality isn’t going to make them have sex earlier. Giving your kids age-appropriate information about sexuality won’t encourage unhealthy sexual development. In fact, research shows that children who talk with their parents and know more about this stuff are more likely to wait to have sex until they’re older and use birth control/condoms when they eventually do have sex.

You can answer their questions honestly while still explaining that sex is something only grownups do. For example, if they ask what the word sex means, you can say something like: “Sometimes when two grownups like each other, they want to kiss and touch each other’s bodies — especially their penis or vulva. What else do you want to know about?” At this age, kids might be fascinated with bodies and the concept of sex, but they usually just think it’s weird or gross.

Providing your kid with information that’s age-appropriate helps them develop a healthy attitude about this stuff as they grow up. It also makes it easier to talk with them about the more complicated aspects of sexual intimacy (like consent, safer sex, and healthy relationships) as they get older.

Plan to have lots of small, casual conversations and rely on teachable moments. Don’t worry if you haven’t started talking with your children about sexuality yet. It’s never too late. Just don’t try to catch up all at once. Many parents plan (or dread) “the big talk” for a long time, expecting to have one conversation that covers everything important all at once. But talking with children about sexuality works best as a lifelong conversation, so prepare to have many small conversations during their childhood, providing more information as they grow. Doing a little bit at a time makes it less overwhelming for both you and your kid.

Don’t stress too much about finding the perfect time to talk. Everyday life gives you lots of opportunities for talking about sexuality (like questions about their genitals during bath time, running into a pregnant neighbor, or seeing people talk about sex on TV). And they may hear stuff out in the world that makes them want to ask questions. These teachable moments pop up all the time, and help make your conversations easier and more natural.

How do I talk about sex with my kid?

The most important thing is being open, honest, and available when your kid wants to talk, and to encourage questions and learning when they’re ready. It’s normal for you to feel a little awkward during some of these talks, but remember that younger kids don’t always realize these topics are difficult for adults.

Having a negative reaction or refusing to answer sends the message that your child’s natural curiosity is bad, and that it’s not okay to come to you with questions — and this means they’ll seek out information from other sources like friends or the internet. So even if you feel flustered, try to keep calm and talk with them in a positive tone.

When talking to younger kids, it’s common for parents to frame sex only as “something grownups do when they want to have a baby.” Of course that is one big reason people have sex, and it’s good for your kids to understand how sex is related to pregnancy. But it’s okay and even good for kids to understand that grownups have sex for other reasons too, like for pleasure and to express love and feel closer to a partner.

It’s important for kids to know who the trusted adults are that they can come to with questions or concerns related to sexuality. On the flip side, teaching appropriate boundaries when it comes to talking about sex is important too. Let them know that while sex and bodies are natural and not shameful, they’re also private. This might mean not talking about this stuff at their friends’ houses because every house has different rules. This could also mean only talking about this stuff with adults you’ve both identified as trusted and safe. You can say something like, “I’m really glad you’re asking me these questions — you can ask me anything. Are there other people you think you could ask about this stuff if I wasn’t available?” What about your brother, Aunt Molly, or Dr. Jones? And who do we not talk to about private stuff?”

What do I do if I see my kid masturbating?

It’s super common for kids of all ages to touch their genitals. Most children figure out at an early age that their genitals are sensitive and touching them feels good.

How parents react to their kids touching themselves can send strong messages. Getting angry, slapping their hands away, or acting disgusted can cause shame and guilt that can negatively impact them as they grow older. It’s common to feel a little uncomfortable if you see your child masturbating, but try to stay calm and remember that it’s perfectly normal and healthy behavior.

While it’s important not to shame your child for touching their genitals, it’s also important to teach them healthy boundaries for themselves and others. Let them know that masturbation is private and not appropriate to do in front of other people. You can say, “I know that feels good and lots of people do it. But you should only touch yourself in private places — like your bedroom or the bathroom.”

What do I do if they walk in on me having sex?

Try not to freak out. It’s natural for you to be embarrassed, but ultimately it’s not harmful or damaging for your child to know that grownups have sex.

The best way to respond is to stay calm, be matter-of-fact, and talk with them about what happened later. In the moment, you can say something like, “We’re having private time. Can you please close the door and go play in your room?” It’s okay if you did happen to yell in the moment — but make sure you apologize later and explain that you were just startled, so your kid doesn’t feel like they did something horribly wrong.

When you talk later, start by asking them what they saw and if they have any questions. Younger kids might be worried that you were hurting each other or fighting, so reassure them that you’re all okay. They may be curious and have lots of questions, which is normal. A good basic message is that sex is a private thing that grownups do with each other to feel good together and express their love. You can explain that this kind of expression of love is different from the way parents and kids show affection. You can also talk about privacy and how they need to knock before coming into other people’s rooms.

How your child processes what happened depends on how old they are, how you react, and whether you’ve already had age-appropriate conversations about sex with them. Try to think of it as another opportunity to normalize sexuality and show that you’re willing to answer their questions.

 

READ MORE:

What should I teach my preschooler about sex and sexuality?

Top 7 things to teach your daughter now!

Going further to transform the lives of children at Protect a Girls Image.

In the rural community of Kangai, located in Kenya’s Kirinyaga County, eight-year-old Evelyn Wambui  stands with a radiant smile at the edge of the garden. Her mother, Rose, is busy harvesting tomatoes.

This is a typical day for women in this village. Women are charged with the responsibility of taking care of the homestead, children and doing casual jobs to feed their children. The lucky few get husbands who help but most of them are either single mothers or they have incompetent husbands who cannot provide.

Each morning, many women will flock the rice farms and tomato farms to get casual jobs. And to earn an extra buck, they will take their older children with them.

The task is no mean feat; it exposes them to threats like influenza from the rice water, blisters, and cuts. Aside from the fatigue they endure while farming all day, many women live in fear of being physically and sexually abused. The daily minimum wage also robs the women of the time and opportunity to take good care of their children and engage in other income generating activities.

 

Despite these hurdles, tides are slowly but surely changing in most of the affected families. Protect A Girls Image has come up with a project that funds the sustenance of these families.

“As a parent myself, it breaks my heart to stare into the seemingly lifeless eyes of children emaciated by poverty who are too weak to play, learn and engage in daily life activities.” Says our CEO Margaret Wangui.

“I empathise with the pain that their parents are going through, as it is not easy to watch your child suffer yet remain helpless and unable to end the suffering. I had to do something!” She Adds

 

 

 

This project is helping 43 needy families to cope effectively with the poverty through access to clean water, food, clothing and education training.

It has not been easy. As corona virus continues to wreak havoc on the economy, reliance on random donations to sustain these families is no longer sustainable. Decrease in donor funding opportunities for our organization has forced us to embrace new funding models.

The project begun in 2020 by laying the foundation. The biggest problem that we have faced is a constant rise in project costs. This is practically due to the rise in prices of steel and oil, caused by the weakening of local currency against the dollar. We have had to pause the project in between months to give time for raising more funds.

 

As we continue to work with our short-term external donors, we will also be going further in our local resource mobilization efforts, so as to raise finances or get in-kind support that will help finish this project. Therefore, we are praying that the residential building project will be is worthwhile. With a stable income stream, families can buy food and afford other basic needs for their children and families irrespective of the economic patterns. We will also be able to build a modern safe house for children who run away from hostile family environment.

It will be good to see that women and children are enjoying lives as a result of improved nutrition, increased access to safe water, food security and education. We sincerely thank our CEO Margaret Wangui for her continuous commitment to transform lives through this project. Moreover, We appreciate the trust we have for our team and other stakeholders.

If you wish to help finish the project, Please click HERE. No organization can do it alone. As the African proverb aptly says: “If you want to go fast, go alone; but if you want to go far, go together”.  Therefore, if we are to go further together, we all need to join hands and advocate strongly for the improved well-being of our children.

READ MORE:

The Story Of The Woman Who Founded Protect A Girls’ Image.

What should I teach my preschooler about sex and sexuality?

 

 

What should I teach my preschooler about sex and sexuality?

Young kids are curious, and have lots of questions. Being open to these questions without judgment at this age shows them that you’re a source of support.

What should I keep in mind?

The way you talk about sexuality sends messages that last a lifetime. These conversations aren’t just about sharing information — you’re teaching values and attitudes. HOW you talk is one of the first lessons your kid gets about sexuality. Your words, tone of voice, facial expressions, and willingness (or unwillingness) to answer questions and encourage your child’s natural curiosity can impact how they feel about themselves and whether they see you as a safe source of information when they’re older.

It’s common to feel weird talking about sexuality with your kids, but try to manage your reactions in the moment so you don’t transfer shame or anxiety onto them. Remember, young kids are pretty much a blank slate — they don’t know that adults see certain body parts and activities as sexual, so they won’t understand why some people are uncomfortable talking about it. So do your best to address sex and masturbation in a way that’s positive (or neutral), matter-of-fact, and encourages them to come to you with questions in the future.

Think ahead of time about your values. Conversations about sex and masturbation not only give you an opportunity to share accurate information with your kid, they’re also an opportunity to talk about your values. Your values influence how you talk about it, so think ahead of time about what messages you want to send. It’s also a good idea to talk about these values with any co-parents or caretakers, so you’re all on the same page.

For example, you might want to think about what you’re going to say about why people have sex — is it something people do when they’re in love? That grownups sometimes choose to do with each other? To feel good? To feel close to each other? To have a baby? All of these? Some but not others? At this age, you don’t have to go into detail about all of the complicated reasons people have sex. For now, it’s more about communicating what’s most important to you.

How do I talk about sex?

The most important thing is being open, honest, and available when your kid wants to talk, and to encourage questions and learning. It’s normal to feel a little awkward during some of these talks, but remember that preschoolers don’t realize these topics are difficult for adults.

Having a negative reaction or refusing to answer sends the message that your child’s natural curiosity is bad, and that it’s not okay to come to you with questions. So even if you feel flustered, try to keep calm and positive.

When talking to younger kids, it’s common for parents to frame sex only as “something married grownups do when they want to have a baby.” Of course that is one big reason people have sex, but it’s okay and even good for kids to understand that grownups have sex for other reasons too, like for pleasure and to express love and feel closer to a partner.

Check out these tips for starting age-appropriate conversations and answering questions about sex and sexuality.

What do I do if I see my preschooler touch their genitals?

It’s okay to feel embarrassed or uncomfortable if you see your child touching their genitals, but try remember that it’s perfectly normal and healthy.

It’s very common for babies, toddlers, and young kids to touch their genitals during diaper changes, in the bath, or at any random time. At this age, nudity and masturbation is about reflexes or curiosity, not sex. Little kids don’t see genitals as sexual or inappropriate in any way — they just know that touching them feels good.

Reacting to this behavior with shock, anger, or scolding can make your kid feel ashamed of their genitals or touching themselves. It probably won’t stop them from doing it, but it can cause feelings of guilt and an unhealthy relationship with their body that can impact their future sex life or relationships.

You can teach them that touching their genitals is something that’s not appropriate to do in public. Preschoolers are old enough to understand privacy. So instead of trying to convince them to stop touching themselves, have a conversation about boundaries. You can say something like, “I know that feels good, and it’s OK to do that in your room or the bathroom. It’s not ok to touch your penis in front of other people. It’s something that’s private.”

What do I do if my preschooler walks in on me having sex?

It’s natural to feel embarrassed, but kids this age will probably have no idea what you were doing or what it means. In the moment, try to be matter-of-fact and say something like, “We’re having private time. Can you please close the door and go play in your room?”

If you did happen to yell or react in a way that could be upsetting to your kid, you can apologize later and explain that you were just surprised and that they didn’t do anything wrong. You can also ask them what they saw and if they have any questions, and mention that they need to knock before coming into other people’s rooms.

You can be honest with your kid but still give an explanation that leaves out the details of sex — “That was something that grownups sometimes do in private to feel good and show that they love each other.”

It’s not harmful for kids to know that sex exists. Depending on your comfort level and whether you’ve had conversations about sex before, it’s OK to just say you were having sex and see if they have follow up questions.

The Story Of The Woman Who Founded Protect A Girls’ Image.

                                Source: https://shiksstorytime.blogspot.com/2022/01/about-pgio-founder-ive-had-theprivilege.html

Founder protect a girls image

I’ve had the privilege to hear the inspiring story of the PGIO founder and this is a short overview.

She was just a young girl when she first met a handsome man and got married but little did she know the character development she was in for. Her first husband was young as well and didn’t know much about relationships much like most of us in this generation and their lack of knowledge costed them a lot.

Fast forward to when they got their first son. He was very adorable but had a chest condition. So one fateful day the son got sick. His chest was clogged and he could barely breath and on this particular day it so happened the husband came home drunk and couldn’t fathom reality. He was so drunk that when his wife tried to wake him so they could take the son to hospital, he wouldn’t budge.

She did what any terrified mother would have done; in her night gown and barefoot, she carried her son through the night to the hospital. Luckily, she used to stay with her sister so she had someone to accompany her. But the unfortunate part was that she didn’t have enough funds to even get a taxi or pay for consultation hence the waking her husband part.

We all know that traditionally, men are the providers and women are the nurturers so in essence she needed her husband to help her out financially especially at that trying time. All in all, they managed to get to the hospital but unfortunately the son never made it. She was so devastated and depressed. One can imagine carrying a baby for nine months only to lose him barely a year after he has been born, the toll it would have on you is profound.

Being a strong woman, she managed to recover and was blessed with another healthy son. Luckily this time round she had work and could somewhat manage to take care of them both even if she still had her husband in their homestead. Three years later they had another baby; a daughter this time but was born premature. Meaning she had to juggle work, going to the hospital to be with her baby and getting home to her son and husband.

However stressful it was, she managed and having her sister by her side helped. After months she managed to bring her baby home but to an emotionally distant husband. It was devastating for her cause we all know having friends and especially family by your side during trying times helps with the emotional turmoil one might be going through especially one that comes with Postpartum Depression, but having a caring and loving husband to comfort you is just divine.

She powered through the marriage and tried to keep it together for the sake of the kids until she couldn’t anymore and had to leave. She went through lengths to take care of her two babies: from living in a single room to sleeping on a blanket on the floor with her kids as they wore warm jackets, since they didn’t have anything to cover themselves with.

Let’s just say the universe favored her and even though there were challenges involved, she managed to put the kids through school even till college.

Her experience softened her heart to every woman and child living out there in hardship and she vowed to help in every way she can, hence, the Protect A Girls Image initiative. It is a faith-based humanitarian organization that exists to bring positive transformation to vulnerable children and their families. It helps support sexual assault survivors, facilitate prevention through education and takes necessary steps to ensure perpetrators are brought to justice.

Here is a link to the Website https://protectagirlsimage.org/ Feel free to check it out, contact us for any inquiries. Visitations and donations are welcome!

 

Have a blessed rest of your day,

Kind regards.

A Call to Men – The Men of Protect A Girls Image Reflect On Recent Issues.

It has been one year since those of us in Kenya and the United States began to shut down in-person activities as we recognized the danger of the coronavirus pandemic. It’s an understatement to say the last year has been difficult. For many, many of us, it has been devastating.

More than two and a half million people have died worldwide, including confirmed positive cases in Kenya are now 130,214. 13 deaths have been reported in the last 24 hours out of which 2 occurred in the last 24 hours while 11 are late death reports from facility record audits that occurred on diverse dates.

This now pushes our cumulative fatalities to 2,117. Our sincere condolences to the families and friends of those who have lost their loved ones. In the last year, Covid-19 has killed almost as many people as cancer.

 

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Donating Food As A Response To Coronavirus/ The Church and Nonprofits.

 

How men can prevent sexual assault

Women have suffered more than men, and women of color have suffered the most. Women are doing more unrecognized household labor than before the pandemic. In recent months, four times the number of women are dropping out of the labor force compared to men. I’m sorry to say the list goes on.

Isolating folks in their homes over the last year led to a spike in domestic violence. We’re also experiencing a mental health crisis — and us men are still not seeking the help we should. Our education system is struggling. All of these crises intersect and those at the margins of the margins are hurt the most.

But we have a big opportunity for action right now. Millions of people worldwide are getting vaccines every day, although that process is also affected by race and class. We’re seeing hiring pick up. The racial justice and gender justice movements over the last year have inspired us so much. We’ve seen some of the biggest protests and resistance in history, and we’re seeing momentum that we haven’t felt since the Civil Rights era.

As we begin to emerge from this pandemic, I want to call on all of the men reading this. Make a commitment — right now — to do things differently from now on. Together we can — we must — build a society that is more just, more inclusive, more loving than the world has ever seen. But it will take all of us.

If you already considered yourself a practicing aspiring ally for women and those at the margins of the margins, think about how you can do just a bit more (or a lot more). If you’re just starting your journey, thank you. We need you. I urge you to learn, to listen to, and lift up voices at the margins, and to donate money and skills.

Let’s commit right now that collective liberation will be the focus of the post-Covid world. We can do it. Now’s the time.

Please comment if you are a male feminist!

7 Key Lessons to Teach Kids About Body Safety and Consent in 2021.

Starting with the viral hashtag #metoo in 2017, everyone was talking about the prevalence of sexual assault and harassment. Like so many others, I have my own #metoo story.

That however is not why I’m writing right now, what I want to try to do in order to help change this prevalence of sexual assault is to empower you to understand consent and body safety.

This means teaching our kids preventative measures. This means teaching both boys and girls about consent.

 

It’s never too soon to speak to your children about sex, consent, and body safety.

1. Talk about body parts early and use the proper terminology.

When we teach our children terms for their body parts that we feel like they’d understand, childish names, it teaches a sense of privacy and shame over what they are.

When children know the anatomical terminology and have been able to discuss it openly with parents there is a greater understanding over what is not okay behavior of adults or children around them.

If something does happen, it also makes it easier for children to discuss what happened and get help.

2. Teach your children body boundaries.

Teaching children about privacy when it comes to body parts can be complicated.

I’ve read articles about how you can teach your kids that it’s okay for mom and dad to see your parts. But how often is a parent the abuser?

Then again, every parent, especially depending on the child’s age needs to be able to see a child naked to shower and bath, to change diapers, to help with toileting.

It’s necessary. This is when it comes to teaching your child boundaries. What is okay touching, what is not.

Teaching your kids that nobody outside the home should TOUCH their body parts. It’s inappropriate for anyone to ask to see them or ask them to touch others.

3. Teach your kids that body secrets are not okay.

Abusers can threaten your child if they tell about the abuse.

Teach your children that body secrets are not okay. Reassure them that no matter what you will not be mad, they will never lose mom or dad, nobody can ever hurt you over them telling the truth, and that if anyone asks to touch their body parts or for them to touch others body parts to tell you right away.

This includes someone asking them to look at pictures of body parts or take pictures of their body parts.

4. Teach your children that the rules are not different even if they know the person.

It does not have to be a stranger asking them inappropriate things.

Most often those who are sexually assaulted know their abusers. The rules are the same no matter who is asking.

5. Teach your children how to get out of bad situations.

Teach your children when it’s okay to lie if needed so they can get out of an uncomfortable situation.

It can be hard for kids to say “no”, especially to an older child or an adult.

Teach them scenarios that can help them getaway, this may even mean self-defense strategies.

6. Teach consent early.

For both boys and girls it’s easy to teach consent early.

If kids are playing, perhaps roughhousing, and one clearly is upset and wants it to stop, teach your children to recognize that and follow their lead.

This includes following it yourself with your children. My kids loved to be tickled, but there can be times that their done, follow their lead, and as soon as they show they would like it to stop, then stop.

Make them understand that they have the right to control the situation. They have the right to say ‘No’ or ‘stop’ and the other person should listen.

As well as others have that same right and if they say ‘no’ or ‘stop’ then stop.

7. Don’t require affection.

It may hurt your feelings if your child doesn’t want to give a hug or kiss, it may hurt grandma or grandpa’s feelings, it may hurt Aunt June’s feelings, but DO NOT pressure your children into giving a hug or kiss to anyone they do not want to.

It is within their power to refuse, this goes with teaching consent, it also means teaching children what power they have. They have power over their own body and have the right to say “no.”

What other body safety tips do you have? What have you taught your children? What were you taught that helped you? What were you not taught that you wish you were?

 

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Top 7 things You Should Teach Your Daughters Now.

top 7 things you should teach your daughters in 2020

Despite all the progress made, our society still puts women through the wringer emotionally.

From impossible body standards to victim-blaming, to the pressure to always put others before themselves, there is a whole lot for women to deal with from their teens and beyond.

Although parents and caregivers can’t shield girls from the world, there’s a great deal they can do to prevent them from internalizing damaging societal messages. But what are the most important lessons to teach?

Parents need to teach the most crucial emotional skills girls need to learn to navigate the world more effectively.

Here are some skills to consider teaching your daughter by the time she is a teenager.

1. How to respect and express her feelings.

We often neglect to teach our girls emotional intelligence because the popular stereotype is that females are good at getting in touch with their feelings and communicating them.

In real sense, when women are overcome by emotions, they become incapable of making decisions. Emotional Intelligence means having the ability to describe and express the full range of human emotion.

But when girls are taught to value being happy and liked overall, they often suppress or can’t acknowledge more difficult experiences.

It’s recommended that parents “authorize” their daughters’ emotions. When your girls express authentic emotions, even if they’re difficult, you take them seriously.

You don’t deny them or challenge them.

 

2. How to feel beautiful and have a positive relationship with her body.

Lost in a sea of selfies and reality television, girls might not know how to view themselves beyond objects of desire.

Teach your daughter that she is beautiful because of who she is in her heart and mind, not because of how she looks or how she dresses.

Point out that, as cheesy as it sounds, real beauty does come from within. Help her understand that trying to be sexy won’t make her beautiful, because she is already beautiful without changing her appearance.

Build her confidence in who she is apart from her looks and explain to her that confidence translates into beauty.

Make sure her Dad is telling her how beautiful she is too.

Also, Parents should discuss sex and know and use the right names for genitalia and do their best to “represent sex as a healthy, beautiful experience that should be had with joy and consent.”

That means talking about what consent means early on and emphasizing that a girl’s body belongs to her alone.

 

3.  How to stand up for herself.

Studies show that girls are encouraged by both parents and teachers to be sweet and conciliatory.

And while we don’t want to send our daughters into the world with a chip on their shoulder and their fists raised looking for a fight, we need to let them know that it is okay to stand up for themselves and voice their beliefs and opinions.

So tell your daughter that she can express herself strongly, but respectfully.

And, if someone is mistreating her, empower her to say, “I don’t really like the way you’re treating me, so I’m going to go now.”

 

 4. How to understand boys.

Boys and girls do have differences when it comes to their brains.

Boys are more visual. Boys have more testosterone than women.

These biological facts make boys and girls think differently, and approach life and problem-solving differently.

Teach your daughter that she has great value, not just because she is a girl, but because she is a person and that boys are not better or more valuable than girls.

 

Check out these Mental Health Issues Resulting from Sexual Assault!!

 

5. How to learn from friendships

Girls are frequently told that friendships are paramount, and that may be why they can be so singularly focused on those relationships.

Relationships help girls learn to assert themselves, compromise, and set boundaries.

Parents should view friendships as an opportunity to show girls what healthy relationships look like and how they can relate to others and themselves.

Encouraging her to communicate honestly and reasonably assert herself, provides her with skills that she’ll need to push for a raise as an adult.

 

6. How to work hard and have faith.

Help your daughter understand that working hard is the key to moving forward in life.

Reward her hard work with praise. Point out the link in her own life between her hard work and success.

A strong faith will help your daughter navigate the challenges of life. It will serve as the basis for her standards and the choices she makes.

Teach her about the power of faith. Teach her how to strengthen her faith. Pray with her.

 

7. How to feel self-compassion

It’s easy to be one’s most unforgiving critic, no matter gender.

But girls get a lot of messages that it’s important to please others. So when they experience a setback, it often feels like letting someone else down.

Research shows that adolescent girls may be exposed to more interpersonal stress than boys. That makes them more likely to ruminate on negative feelings, which puts them at greater risk for depression.

To help prevent this cycle of suffering, parents should teach their daughters how to deal with failure. What we want is for girls to have is the capacity to move through a setback without beating themselves up.

This means teaching a girl how to relate to herself and practice self-compassion in a moment of crisis. It’s important that instead of criticizing herself harshly, she focuses on the universality of disappointment and practice self-kindness.

By realizing others share that experience, she’ll be better prepared to treat herself compassionately and develop resilience.

 

8. How to deal with the online world.

Help your daughter see that the online world is not the real world.

Be sure that she’s spending more time with you and your family than with her online community.

The more time that she spends online, the greater her chances of feeling discouraged about what other girls have that she doesn’t, be it their clothes, their bodies, or their boyfriends.

What else are you trying to teach your pre-teen daughter? Share your comments below.

 

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Lack Of Sex Education Is A Major Crisis.

Fighting Against Gender-Based Violence During The COVID-19 Pandemic.

Poverty and Depression As A Result of Covid-19 Has Affected The Youth In Kenya.